Change The Narrative
About a month ago, during the stillness of the morning while I was sitting on my bed, I grabbed my iPad from the top of my shelf and for some peculiar reason I came across an article by INC. Magazine which immediately grasped my attention. The article was one of a 3-part series which spoke about the mind and its’ different parts - the conscious, subconscious, and unconscious mind. Interestingly, as I read the first article I was so intrigued that I just couldn’t stop reading. I immediately read all 3 articles in the series, starting with the first one entitled, “3 Parts of Your Mind That Affect Your Ability to Make Decisions” followed by “Think You’re in Control? You’re Not: How Mental Programs Are Running Your Life” concluding with the last article, “5 Ways to Stop Your Mind from Sabotaging All Your Hard Work”.
In the article it highlighted that the mind is constantly being ruled by a set of programs, otherwise known as patterns of thoughts which have been created from our experiences and what we have been taught from the time we were children. These thought patterns or mental programs which are often repeated and reinforced throughout the years, eventually go on to shape our beliefs. When these beliefs are formed, we then start to act on them. That’s the reason why the more we think a particular thought, the more it becomes a part of us. The mental programs we create as children are strong because they get reinforced repeatedly through the years. If your brain receives data that contradicts an embedded mental pattern, your subconscious will simply ignore it.
Take for instance, a child who may have had a bad experience in his/her childhood, may think that something was wrong with them or that they were the cause of the problem. As this thought pattern is repeated over and over again, the more it starts to govern that child’s mind and behaviour. Another perfect example is, a person who experienced a bad relationship, may start to believe that they are not good enough to ever be in a relationship again. You may ask, well why would they think so? The answer is simple. It is because of the narrative they chose to believe.
This is one of the primary reasons why we should evaluate and be mindful of the narratives which we tell ourselves on a continuous basis inclusive of the ones we were told from childhood. The mind is like a computer. Both the mind and computer operate on a set of “data/information” which is received and processed. That data which is processed, is then acted upon.
It is therefore important to remember that our mind will ultimately follow and execute the “commands” it is given. The wonderful thing is, our mental programs can be changed. In other words, we can change the narrative which we feed ourselves and that is exactly what I will be sharing with you today.
Lesson 1: You Form Your Habits And Your Habits Form Your Future
It is vitally important you understand that you form your habits and your habits form your future. Simply put another way, “you form your habits and those habits in return, form you.” Therefore, you must intentionally choose to create good habits which will create the future you desire. This includes creating the habit of positively shaping your mental program. If I asked you, when was the last time your computer or phone was updated, I am sure you would be able to tell me. Therefore, if your computer/phone updates it’s programs and software on a regular basis, my question to you is, when was the last time you took a moment to update your mental program? When last did you pause to feed your mind with truth and with things which would help you to grow? When last did you update your mental software by: reading something new, speaking new affirmations over your life, executing at a higher level or gaining new experiences and insights about a particular area in life?
The late Earl Nightingale excellently stated in one of his seminars that, “if you do not intentionally form good habits, you have unintentionally created bad habits which will lead you away from the life you truly desire”. He proceeded on to say that even by choosing to do nothing, you have automatically instilled and created a habit which will lead you away from success. By choosing not to intentionally create good thought patterns in your mind, your life will just go in any direction. It would be like a sail boat in the ocean with no anchor, being tossed to and fro by every passing wave.
That’s why the great apostle Paul once said, “take every thought captive”. In other words, he is saying, every thought that comes into your mind, you don’t have to act on it or believe it. You don’t have to make every thought which pops into your mind your new belief. You must however take that thought and evaluate it, to see whether it is true, noble or good, which in turn can help you to grow or whether it is a lie which would hinder you from becoming the person you were made to be. It was once stated, you can’t control how many birds fly over a tree, but you can control which ones you allow to nest in it. Here is the reality, you won’t be able to control every thought that pops into your mind, but you can control the ones which remain there and the ones which you choose to act on. Even at moments in my life, I get random thoughts which come into my mind, which aren’t always positive. At some points, I recognise that the more I allow those thoughts to stay there without addressing them, the more they affect my mood and energy. Thus, in those moments I have to take those thoughts, evaluate them and then make a decision whether it is best to release them by thinking a counter thought or not.
Whenever I think of habits and changing the narrative, I immediately think of Newton’s first law of motion which states that, an object in motion will remain in motion, unless it is acted upon and opposed by an equal and opposite reaction/force. The reason I think about this is because our mind is constantly in a state of motion. That’s why when we create a habit, whether good or bad, and as we continually do it over and over again, it becomes more natural to us and will remain in a state of motion until it is acted on by “an equal and opposite force/reaction”. In other words, change occurs in our lives when we use an opposite action to counteract something which we currently do in our present reality.
Take for instance a person who doesn’t believe in themselves. That person may repeat certain words or thoughts such as “I am not good enough”, “I can’t do this” or “my life doesn’t matter”. The more they shape their mental program to that thought, the more difficult it will be for them to get out of that cycle and the only way for it to change is by using an “equal and opposite force,” which in this scenario would be a positive thought pattern. By the individual changing the narrative to “I am capable of this” or “I am good enough”, they are using an equal and opposite force to bring about change. Change however, will only be made evident over a period of time. Thus, if there is an area you wish to change in your life, you must first start to form new and good habits.
If you want to get fit and into shape, instead of just lying on the couch watching movies the entire day while drinking sodas and eating potato chips wishing to get fit, start to create a counter habit of prioritizing time for exercise in your life or incorporating natural vegetables in your diet. If you want to learn how to bake a cake, instead of saying I am not good at this, educate your mind on baking, take a course, read a baking book or search the internet. If you want a more peaceful life, then start to think more uplifting thoughts or create the habit of not overcommitting yourself. Whatever it is for you, start to create good habits.
Lesson 2- Start Thinking As The Person You Wish To Become
The second lesson I want you to remember when seeking to change the narrative in your mind and life is this - start thinking as the person you wish to become. You see, many people in the world say they want to have a happier, healthier and a more positive life, but when faced with the slightest form of challenge, they are ready to back away. We may express that we want a happy day today, but let’s say that something unexpected happen which triggers you, (e.g someone steps on your shoe accidently, the kids damaged your favourite mug or you experienced rejection) oftentimes we choose to hold on to that negative experience (as small as it may appear) which triggers certain thoughts in your brain, allowing it to interrupt the rest of our day instead of releasing it. By choosing to replay the scenario over and over again in your mind, you are preventing yourself from experiencing the good day you asked for. If you are guilty of this, don’t worry.
Nonetheless, here is what I want you to remember. You will never experience a happier life by choosing to hold on to negative thoughts. As a person thinks in his/her heart, so are they. Thus, you must think as the individual you wish to become and then start acting upon those newly formed thought patterns. That is why affirmations are so powerful.
Affirmations are sentences you craft and repeat to yourself on a continuous basis. They are stated in the present tense, using positive words as if you already have the thing you desire. For example, if you wish to become resilient and confident, instead of saying “I want to be resilient and confident”, you would say, “I am a resilient and confident person”. When you act as if you already have something you will magnify the state of having. If you continually repeat that you want something, you magnify the state of wanting, which is characterized by lack, as is stated by INC Magazine.
By repeatedly reinforcing those new thought patterns, you will be able to start changing the narrative in your mind.
